A blue- skied, 40 degree day in March beckoned that I bundle up enough to go on a walk-a-bout! And while this theory came to me only today and may not be a fully developed idea, I believe I’m all the better for it!
I know I mentioned the birds singing in my post last week, but I honestly don’t remember a year in which their songs were more welcome and soothing to my ears. In part, hearing them puts me in tune with nature and all of the living breathing things within the circle of life. It reminds me of what is everlasting and stable. Through the ups and downs of society, the birds still nest and sweetly call to the moon and sun. The ground still brings forth new life and sustenance. The fish keep on swimming and obeying the rules of predators that have existed for millions of years within the deep seas. No, there is nothing in the “natural world” that has changed– and that brings me peace and stability in this very tumultuous “human world”.
A walk today helped me remember the circle of life. There are the changing seasons, and by the way, after seeing the snow bombs on the East Coast and watching the West Coast brace for the impact of the storm systems on their way now…. I am very, very content and pleased to have such a very mild winter here in WI. But there are also the changing seasons in where and how we invest our time and energy through our lifetime. I remember many a year when our trips centered around visits to family members who had gotten on in years. Many hours watching our parents tending to the needs of those ill or failing. Then other years pushing our home(s) forward by means of household projects or building purchases. When our daughter was young, our focus was to raise her with a well-rounded view of life and every 2-3 years we made it a point to visit new places for her to experience. To a degree I feel as though we have come full circle and are starting over; yet living the circle through the eyes of the next generation. We will make plans for periodic trips to see our daughter in Minneapolis but in the years to come it will likely morph into trips to see grandchildren as well and watching or helping them with projects on their home.
With all the negative talk in the world- all of the disrespect and ignorance towards those in need- it’s no wonder I just want to hear the birds. I want to cover the dark droning hum of ignorance with light and air. My husband and I have much more frequently (half) kidded “where do we move?” while listening to whatever unbearable mishap happened that day in Washington or elsewhere in the world as they point their fingers back at our country with mocking disgust and piety.
In a few weeks I will be turning 46 and in many ways I am nowhere near the person I’d have hoped to be by this time. Aren’t people in there 40’s supposed to have it “all together”. Weren’t we to have “arrived” at some tipping point of satisfaction to sit back and enjoy watching life by now? Instead we still spin our wheels and struggle everyday with our various set-backs and blockades. By this time I wanted to have already had a few stamps in my passport. Reality: I have not even purchased a passport.
I suppose it is with my impending age increase, today’s walk made me conclude that life is not a roller coaster. It is not the frantic apprehension and work of climbing the tall mountain and then easily and enjoyably soaring downwards for a period of thrilling adventure. No, I think life is more of a Ferris wheel making circles around and around. At times at the bottom, loading up a series of new friends and passengers. Or maybe we just want to get off this ride all together but instead we are grateful we don’t because we’d miss the best part! When we are at the very tippy-top with a view of the world and a moment of freedom. We are part of the sun and sky and have left the busy action of the circus below us in our path. There is elation and insight for a portion of time….. and then gravity slowly forces us down to the ground again and all the hustle and bustle that entails. Over and over, on and on.
I guess with this point of view I’m appeasing myself. Telling myself that I’m not missing the thrill of the roller coaster. I am in the car of the wheel of life, in the rotation of a big circle that I am meant to be within. If we were all to put our circles together it would look like one of those gyroscopes, where not any one circle has the same degree of rotation as another. Just hold on and know your course is already set for you. You don’t have to veer away or plot a different path. Rest assured that life will come full circle and you will, one day and for some time, have a place perched at the top. And it will be at that time that you will take your turn to sing with the birds!